Blogging While He Is Sleeping

Im sitting here, while I watch him sleep, I am thinking back on all the good times we have had over the last month. I can still remember the first time I went to his house. I had broken up with Jeff and it was like 11 on a Saturday night and Jason told me to call him. So I did and we were talking for a couple of hours and then he decided to tell me a bunch of things about his past that he hasn't really told a lot of people. As our conversation progress his back started to hurt. He told me I should come over and walk on his back too make it feel better. I told him that there was no way I was coming out there its 130 in the morning and you live 45 minutes away. He said I should anyways cause it was be cool to just hang out and that I needed to do something for me. So I decided that he was right so I drove all the way to Castro Valley. Lets say it was the best choice I have made in a while. When I got to his house all he did was hug me because he knew that is what I wanted. And that hug was amazing. I can still remember it til this day. I can still feel his arms around me. And thats where it all began. We can hang out just to hang out. We can talk about anything. Nothing is held back. Our kisses are passionate and its amazing. I can say that I am falling for him so bad and I am trying not to be scared and let anything stop me for feeling how I want to feel. I am going to let me heart open to him and take him in and not be scared to get hurt.

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My week in a nutshell

This week was actually really fun. Spent some time with Jason and Amy and the wonderful children.

Monday was the eventful trip to Fredrick's. I have never bought anything in that aspect of sex but I will say that it was a lot of fun. It was a girls night with Amy and Stephonie and a very eventful one at that. Had dinner at Johnny Rockets and that one turned out very interesting. Then Stephonie, we found out, had never been to Spencers so we decided it was a night of firsts. She loved it. I have a feeling she will be back.

Tuesday was laid back at work and even more laid back that evening. Jason came over after work and then we went over to Amy's to hang out for a while. Spent some time with Faith and Matthew. Amanda was with her father (kind of). Amy and Jason got into some intense matches of Wii bowling. It was commical even though I was in complete pain with my back. I did find out that Jason had never eaten Skipolini's Pizza. Amy and I couldn't believe it. We decided that we need to change that. (See Friday)

Wednesday I stayed home from work because my back hurt so bad. I did nothing but laid on the flat floor and slept most of the day. Im lazy when I dont feel good.

Thursday I went back to work and it was crazy how much I missed. Drove out to Castro Valley to see Jason and when I got to the bowling alley I couldn't find him. I did eventually and just hung out for a while. Got a call from my friend Kelly who just got home from Ethopia. Im so excited that he is home. Ive missed my awesomeist friend.

Ahhh today, Friday. Well its crazy at work. We have Principle and Academic cabinet meetings today. Gonna be a busy afternoon but when 430 rolls around its gonna get better. Going over to Amy's after work and then Jason is gonna come over after work and I think Allen is going to come over too and we are gonna get Skipolini's Pizza for dinner and watch a movie and just hang out. Jason will finally eat his first Skipoloni's Pizza. Welcome to the club!

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Smile by Charlie Chaplin

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING
SMILE EVEN THOUGH THOUGH IT'S BREAKING
WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY
YOU'LL GET BY.

IF YOU SMILE THROUGH YOUR PAIN AND SORROW
SMILE AND MAYBE TOMORROW
YOU'LL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH
FOR YOU...

LIGHT UP YOUR FACE WITH GLADNESS,
HIDE EVERY TRACE OF SADNESS
ALTHOUGH A TEAR MAY BE EVER SO NEAR
THAT'S THE TIME YOU MUST KEEP ON TRYING
SMILE, WHAT'S THE USE OF CRYING
YOU'LL FIND THAT LIFE IS STILL WORTHWHILE
IF YOU JUST SMILE.

THATS THE TIME YOU MUST KEEP ON TRYING,
SMILE WHATS THE USE OF CRYING
YOU'LL FIND THAT LIFE IS STILL WORTHWHILE
IF YOU JUST SMILE.

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING
SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT'S BREAKING
WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY
YOU'LL GET BY

THATS THE TIME YOU MUST KEEP ON TRYING
SMILE WHAT'S THE USE OF CRYING
YOU'LL FIND THAT LIFE IS STILL WORTHWHILE
IF YOU JUST
YOU'LL FIND OUT THAT LIFE IS STILL WORTHWHILE
IF YOU JUST SMILE.

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Keep Moving Along

So the last few days have been a blast. I love that I have friends that I can run too when I need to talk or just need someone to be around. I have a guy that from what I hear really cares for me and my feelings. This year could not start off any better. Well except for the fact that I will have to spend the next 24 hours on my back because it's all fucked up. I guess I got one of my nerves caught on one of my vertebrae and when the doctor removed it and put it back into place she said I will experience some intense pain and because I don't like taking medicine I am just going to have to stick it out. Which is fine but I never expected it to be this bad. I've never really cried because my back hurt but let me tell you, this pain I have, I could cry until it stops. Then because of this I cannot have any strenuous activity for a week. Really? Blow me. I just bought all this new lingerie and I cant even wear it for a week? FUCK. Oh well. Doctors orders. Oh and because Jessica can never go to the doctors office without getting bad news, they want to run some more test on my Thyroids because one of mine is twice the size of the other and she wants to make sure that it's not something that is going to affect me in anyway. Yay, Go me. I do have to say its nice to have a guy that understands what the doctor says. He was like ok, we will just hang out and chill until your back gets better. He came to visit me last night and hung out with me and Amy for the longest time even though he had to drive 45 minutes back home and had to be up at 5. Yeah I think he loves me. I know I think I love him. It's crazy. This feeling. So last night when I was waiting for him to get home I texted him about something that was said on the way home. He wanted to know what we were doing for our 1 month? Now I have never had a guy that likes celebrating anniversaries so when he said this it kind of caught me off guard. I said "I don't know. What are we doing?" He told me "We are going to the city." Ok. So when he was driving home I asked him "So you like celebrating anniversaries?" and the response I got officially made me fall in love with him all over again. He has not had the best past but that is because of his own choosing. He is not the one for serious relationships. He was the hit it and quit it type. I knew this getting into it but I did it anyways. So getting back to the subject, he then text me with "Well it celebrates the day when my life got brighter. So I would like to do something to commemorate that." :-) I mean what girl would not like to receive a text like that? I swear I was smiling all night long. I do need to work on a few things though. I need to stop comparing him to my last relationship. It's not good for me or our relationship. I want this relationship to be different. It already is different. I want to keep him as long as I can. All my friends seem to like him. Well except for Noah.

So this one deserves it's own paragraph. So last night, Jason and I were at Amy's house playing Wii and just hanging out. Now Noah had Amanda because of a few things that have been going on. So he brought her home and I was right by the door when it was opened and I waved at him and let me just say if looks could kill, I would of been dead. It was like I wasn't his friend, an outsider. I was like wow. I turned around and when I introduced him to Jason, Amy said that he even gave Jason some dirty look. What the hell? I thought that him and I were cool after Jeff and I broke up but I guess not. That's bullshit if you ask me but whatever.

:-)

Tell me why, when I signed on Facebook and saw that the first thing that came up was Jason changed his status to 'In A Relationship' I freaking jumped around my room and smiled like I was in 5th grade with a huge crush? I cant get over it. He is amazing.

So tonight Amy and Stephonie took me shopping for lingerie. I have never shopped for things like this. It was interest and a little bit of fun. I think that whenever I break these things out to Jason things may get very naughty. Ha ha. $178 later and I now own many pieces of lingerie.  

Can I Get A.... Well I'm Not Sure

So we are day 2 into 2011 and I can already tell it's gonna be an awesome year. I have been getting in contact with friends that I had let go because of past relationships and trying to mend the ones I still have. It's hard to let go of my life for the last 4 1/2 years but I know I can do it. I can do anything I stick my mind too. It's great to have a backbone of friendships again. So here and now I will post my annual New Years Resolution List and see how many I can actually keep too....

2011 New Year’s Resolutions     

Pay off credit card!!!!

Weigh 115-120 or wear a size 5

Make a steady workout plan

Eat Healthier

Put $50 from every paycheck in savings

Live my life MY way

Stay organized.

Don’t spend money on useless crap

Get into reading at night again

BLOG MORE!!! (too get out my frustrations with life)

Quit biting my nails

Take as many pictures as possible.

Appreciate the little things

Smile. Laugh. Love. Live Free.

New year, New start

welcome 2011! its time for a new start, a new life, new friends and new love. bring on 2011!