Well today is a lot better than yesterday. Still in pain but I had a bowel movement this morning and that was the next big hurdle I needed to get passed. No pain. No extra bleeding. Things are moving in the right direction. Thank god. I want to be healed and this to be over with
Friday, March 31, 2017
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Post Operation Day 1
So surgery was yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was but it's just the beginning.
Still under the numbing medicine they gave me during the operation. It's slowly wearing off. They gave me pain meds so I took one this morning just to be on the safe side incase the meds wear off.
The showers are horrible. Having to move open my legs and butt to clean out the wound is the most painful things about it so far. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets.
Still under the numbing medicine they gave me during the operation. It's slowly wearing off. They gave me pain meds so I took one this morning just to be on the safe side incase the meds wear off.
The showers are horrible. Having to move open my legs and butt to clean out the wound is the most painful things about it so far. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
I Can't Win
I just don't get it. I studied my ass off for my Anthropology exam and I still got the same exam score as I did on the first one.
Fuck. I am seriously not happy with this class.
Fuck. I am seriously not happy with this class.
Monday, March 20, 2017
One Week Out
So I am just a little over a week out from Surgery. 9 days to be exact. All I can say is if I could have my surgery today I would do it in a heartbeat. I am so ready to get this thing over and dealt with. I don't think my anxiety has gotten any worse but it's definitely weighing on my mind more and more. I made myself a check list last night of things I want/need to do or get before my surgery so that I am not going crazy during the first few days of bed rest. That's going to be really hard for me. I hate sitting down and not doing anything. I am going to go crazy.
Man I forgot how hard it was to type with acrylics on.
Anyways back to what we were discussing...
I have managed to stay off of everything online about my surgery. The only thing I've read is about care instructions but I am sure when I go for my pre-op tomorrow I will get all kinds of information about it (I hope).
I do need to set a reminder to send an email to all my professors reminding them about my impending surgery and that I won't be in class the week after we get back from break.
Did I mention we actually get a week for Spring Break here at UC Merced? I was surprised. I don't remember that last time I had a week for Spring Break off. It was probably when I worked for the school district or back when I was in high school. I had so many things planned for to do during break but now I guess they will have to wait until the semester is over.
Man I forgot how hard it was to type with acrylics on.
Anyways back to what we were discussing...
I have managed to stay off of everything online about my surgery. The only thing I've read is about care instructions but I am sure when I go for my pre-op tomorrow I will get all kinds of information about it (I hope).
I do need to set a reminder to send an email to all my professors reminding them about my impending surgery and that I won't be in class the week after we get back from break.
Did I mention we actually get a week for Spring Break here at UC Merced? I was surprised. I don't remember that last time I had a week for Spring Break off. It was probably when I worked for the school district or back when I was in high school. I had so many things planned for to do during break but now I guess they will have to wait until the semester is over.
Monday, March 13, 2017
Coming To Terms
So last week I found out I will have to have surgery on the lovely what started out as a bug bite spot on my ass. I have had it for almost 2 years. It was not properly handled in the beginning and now I an left with no other option but to have surgery.
The day I was told that I was going to have to have surgery was horrible. I am not going to lie. I walked to my car and sat there for 20 minutes and cried. That was the only thing that felt right in that moment. I've never had to have surgery before. I've never been under anesthesia before. I had just about everything that could possibly happen going through my mind at that point. I could die under the drugs. All the things that could go wrong with the surgery I thought of. I was just in a bad place. I didn't know how to handle anything.
I am not almost a week out after that dreadful appointment and my mind is finally coming to terms with this procedure. I am going to have surgery. There is no other way around it. I will be put under and cut open. Can't get around that either. It has to be done before it gets worse. For all I know it could be worse when they open me up. But I am not going to worry about it anymore. There is no reason to. It has to happen.
The recovery won't be easy but once it's over, its over. No more having to make couples purchases of tape and gauze. No more having to wonder if I brought all the necessary supplies with me when I travel. No more having to worry about it the skin broke open when I forget to bandage it up before I head out for the day. You have no idea how many times I've had a complete meltdown because I thought the skin broke open and I was bleeding every where. Trust me.... not fun.
I will be fine. It's a quick procedure. I will be in and out in no time. It's outpatient. I will get to go home that day and sleep in my own bed. I will have to adjust my lifestyle for the healing process but it's something that will have to be done. Lugging around a sweatshirt or blanket to sit on incase things get uncomfortable. Making sure I have plenty of the medical supplies I need to take care of my open wound(oh yes forgot to mention that. No stitching. It has to close from the inside out so I get to live with a gaping hole in my ass for 6-8 weeks).
Will it be worth it? Absolutely!
The day I was told that I was going to have to have surgery was horrible. I am not going to lie. I walked to my car and sat there for 20 minutes and cried. That was the only thing that felt right in that moment. I've never had to have surgery before. I've never been under anesthesia before. I had just about everything that could possibly happen going through my mind at that point. I could die under the drugs. All the things that could go wrong with the surgery I thought of. I was just in a bad place. I didn't know how to handle anything.
I am not almost a week out after that dreadful appointment and my mind is finally coming to terms with this procedure. I am going to have surgery. There is no other way around it. I will be put under and cut open. Can't get around that either. It has to be done before it gets worse. For all I know it could be worse when they open me up. But I am not going to worry about it anymore. There is no reason to. It has to happen.
The recovery won't be easy but once it's over, its over. No more having to make couples purchases of tape and gauze. No more having to wonder if I brought all the necessary supplies with me when I travel. No more having to worry about it the skin broke open when I forget to bandage it up before I head out for the day. You have no idea how many times I've had a complete meltdown because I thought the skin broke open and I was bleeding every where. Trust me.... not fun.
I will be fine. It's a quick procedure. I will be in and out in no time. It's outpatient. I will get to go home that day and sleep in my own bed. I will have to adjust my lifestyle for the healing process but it's something that will have to be done. Lugging around a sweatshirt or blanket to sit on incase things get uncomfortable. Making sure I have plenty of the medical supplies I need to take care of my open wound(oh yes forgot to mention that. No stitching. It has to close from the inside out so I get to live with a gaping hole in my ass for 6-8 weeks).
Will it be worth it? Absolutely!
Friday, March 10, 2017
M.I.A.
Damn I hadn't realized it had been so long since I updated my blog. I know... I am a horrible blogger. Not that anyone actually reads this other than me. But's thats ok.
Where to begin....
I am well into my second semester at UC Merced and I hate every minute of it. I am barely staying afloat this semester. Taking 4 classes is a lot harder than 3. More homework, less time for everything else. The only nice thing is there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I see it. I will be there eventually. At least with this part of schooling. Then I have to get credentialed. That I am not looking forward too. Who knew that becoming a teacher would be so complicated.
In other news... I am going to have to have surgery on the 29th on March. The bug bite I got on my ass almost 2 years ago that a certain dermatologist never took care of properly has turned into an abscess in my fistula tract so now I have to go in and have it cleaned out. I am not as terrified as I was a few days ago when I went and saw the surgeon and she told me what was going to happen, but I am still freaking out. I've never had surgery before. I know it won't be that bad but I'm still scared shitless. Chris thinks I'm overreacting. I think he is being a dick. You can probably guess where this one is going. Ha.
Other than that I am still going crazy with the people I live with. Josh is home now from the Marines. He is out for good. Medically discharged. So we have been having to deal with that asshole. Let me tell you don't even let your kids become Marines. They won't teach them respect they will teach them to become bigger assholes than when they left. I've never been a fan of the Marines and they way Josh has been acting since joining is not helping their case. I'm just saying....
Well that is all I guess. I am sitting in my Polisci classroom waiting for class to start. So I will bid you farewell for now....
-J
Where to begin....
I am well into my second semester at UC Merced and I hate every minute of it. I am barely staying afloat this semester. Taking 4 classes is a lot harder than 3. More homework, less time for everything else. The only nice thing is there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I see it. I will be there eventually. At least with this part of schooling. Then I have to get credentialed. That I am not looking forward too. Who knew that becoming a teacher would be so complicated.
In other news... I am going to have to have surgery on the 29th on March. The bug bite I got on my ass almost 2 years ago that a certain dermatologist never took care of properly has turned into an abscess in my fistula tract so now I have to go in and have it cleaned out. I am not as terrified as I was a few days ago when I went and saw the surgeon and she told me what was going to happen, but I am still freaking out. I've never had surgery before. I know it won't be that bad but I'm still scared shitless. Chris thinks I'm overreacting. I think he is being a dick. You can probably guess where this one is going. Ha.
Other than that I am still going crazy with the people I live with. Josh is home now from the Marines. He is out for good. Medically discharged. So we have been having to deal with that asshole. Let me tell you don't even let your kids become Marines. They won't teach them respect they will teach them to become bigger assholes than when they left. I've never been a fan of the Marines and they way Josh has been acting since joining is not helping their case. I'm just saying....
Well that is all I guess. I am sitting in my Polisci classroom waiting for class to start. So I will bid you farewell for now....
-J
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