The Quarterback

So this past Thursday Glee had their tribute to Cory Monteith/Finn Hudson. It was sad. We laughed, we cried, we remembered the good times. I was doing good there for a while. I could watch episodes of Glee and not cry. I could listen to every song and be ok. Ever since last Thursday everytime I see a picture of him I tear up. I look at the picture and all I can think about is how I am waiting for his face to show up on my TV. That he is not dead. I thought I was past this denial stage. How am I so emotionally invested in someone I have never met and never will get the chance to meet. Most people say at because I watched him grow up, fall on love, and start living up to his potential right in front on my eyes on the silver screen. We grew to love Cory from the very first episode of Glee. I wish I could turn back the clocks to July 12 and tell him not to do what he did so that me, his friends, his family, and his fans wouldn't have to go through this pain and heartache everyday. They say it gets easier with time, but time always seems to stand still when you are hurting. I'm sure most people are going to find this post stupid and that I need to move on and get over it. That's just it. I can't seem to do so. It's not like he intentionally meant to take his own life. He wanted to get up the next morning and see Lea's beautiful face, he wanted to return to Glee and keep working and we wanted to see him do it. We've been cheering for him since day one.

I don't know what they can see or read in heaven but, Cory if you are reading this somehow, I just want to let you know that in 5 years you have changes my life. Your voice, your music, your personality is something I wish everyone would strive for. We miss you like hell. We love you!