But I really just don't know what to post about. I have nothing special really going on in my life. I sit home and apply to a shit ton of jobs and hear nothing back and then when I call them, they tell me the position has already been filled. Which comes to find out that is a bullshit lie because the posting is still up on their website 1 week later. Do people think that unemployed people are stupid. I understand that I am kind of unemployed by choice but also because they were getting rid of the position at the end of the first semester anyways. So I would of been out either way. I still think the best choice for me was moving down to the valley. There has been so much less drama in my life. I don't have to deal with the pettiness of people who think their shit don't stink when they are only 17. Or not even being able to run my own life at the age or 25 in my own house. If I would of lived at home any longer and think my relationship with my dad would of been strained to the point that it wouldn't of been fixable without some time apart anyways. Also at 25 years old, it was time to experience what life was like on my own anyways. I know where I am living isn't quite on my own. I plan on paying rent when I get a job. I am so close to having another Credit Card paid off and then I am down to one and then it back on the hunt to find medical insurance. I understand that I will never be rich as long as I live, even though it would of been quite nice to win last nights $640 million jackpot. I could of had everything paid off, bought a brand new car and then some. I can dream can't I? So what's next for me? I am still trying to get a hold of Mills college because I am not able to send them the things they needed by the time they needed them by and I hope that doesn't affect my application. I would still love to start there in the fall. But only time will tell. If I don't start there in the fall, I hope to start in the spring. I need to get the ball rolling with school. I would love to just be finished by now, but as we can see, that hasn't happened. I procrastinated too much and now I am kicking myself in the ass for it. I think I might take Summer classes to try and get myself almost back up to where I was before I decided that I hate school. Everyone says 'Everything happens for a reason' but this is my own fault. I should of just gone away when I graduated high school and this shit would be done. But if I would of done it that was I wouldn't of met the people I did, been through the things I have been through and gotten to where I am today. I would not change what happened for anything, just change the process with the same outcome. I know most of you that read my blog, well if you still read my blog, have known me since I was probably in middle school and I know we all had the same pact that by the time we were 25 we would be finished with school, married and had a baby. I think out of the 8 of us in that group, only 2 of us haven't gotten that far. I guess that's not too bad of a percentage. I do get kind of bummed out when I see my friends having babies, or getting married or having anniversaries. It kind of gets me thinking that maybe I chose the wrong path some where along the line. Hmph. I am ready to get my life moving in the right direction. I have good friends, my family bonds are mending from years of anger and disapproval, and for the first time in a long time I actually think my love life might actually been on a good track. Not dating someone who thinks that I am shit, or dating my one bad boy that every girl gets. He is genuine and kind and actually seems to care for me like no one has in a long time. He never seems to give up on our relationship no matter what happens. No argument is every too big or worth a break up or a screaming match. I guess that's a good thing right? I think so. He loves me just the way I am. I keep saying that I need to lose weight and get back to where I was, but he just says that he loves me just the way I am and he likes me with a little bit of cushion. I'm his Chunky Monkey! Well at least we know he can make me smile.
Holy damn, I guess I did need to do a long post. I just started typing and this is where it got me. Damn. I have a lot on my mind I guess. More blogging for me.
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