But I really just don't know what to post about. I have nothing special really going on in my life. I sit home and apply to a shit ton of jobs and hear nothing back and then when I call them, they tell me the position has already been filled. Which comes to find out that is a bullshit lie because the posting is still up on their website 1 week later. Do people think that unemployed people are stupid. I understand that I am kind of unemployed by choice but also because they were getting rid of the position at the end of the first semester anyways. So I would of been out either way. I still think the best choice for me was moving down to the valley. There has been so much less drama in my life. I don't have to deal with the pettiness of people who think their shit don't stink when they are only 17. Or not even being able to run my own life at the age or 25 in my own house. If I would of lived at home any longer and think my relationship with my dad would of been strained to the point that it wouldn't of been fixable without some time apart anyways. Also at 25 years old, it was time to experience what life was like on my own anyways. I know where I am living isn't quite on my own. I plan on paying rent when I get a job. I am so close to having another Credit Card paid off and then I am down to one and then it back on the hunt to find medical insurance. I understand that I will never be rich as long as I live, even though it would of been quite nice to win last nights $640 million jackpot. I could of had everything paid off, bought a brand new car and then some. I can dream can't I? So what's next for me? I am still trying to get a hold of Mills college because I am not able to send them the things they needed by the time they needed them by and I hope that doesn't affect my application. I would still love to start there in the fall. But only time will tell. If I don't start there in the fall, I hope to start in the spring. I need to get the ball rolling with school. I would love to just be finished by now, but as we can see, that hasn't happened. I procrastinated too much and now I am kicking myself in the ass for it. I think I might take Summer classes to try and get myself almost back up to where I was before I decided that I hate school. Everyone says 'Everything happens for a reason' but this is my own fault. I should of just gone away when I graduated high school and this shit would be done. But if I would of done it that was I wouldn't of met the people I did, been through the things I have been through and gotten to where I am today. I would not change what happened for anything, just change the process with the same outcome. I know most of you that read my blog, well if you still read my blog, have known me since I was probably in middle school and I know we all had the same pact that by the time we were 25 we would be finished with school, married and had a baby. I think out of the 8 of us in that group, only 2 of us haven't gotten that far. I guess that's not too bad of a percentage. I do get kind of bummed out when I see my friends having babies, or getting married or having anniversaries. It kind of gets me thinking that maybe I chose the wrong path some where along the line. Hmph. I am ready to get my life moving in the right direction. I have good friends, my family bonds are mending from years of anger and disapproval, and for the first time in a long time I actually think my love life might actually been on a good track. Not dating someone who thinks that I am shit, or dating my one bad boy that every girl gets. He is genuine and kind and actually seems to care for me like no one has in a long time. He never seems to give up on our relationship no matter what happens. No argument is every too big or worth a break up or a screaming match. I guess that's a good thing right? I think so. He loves me just the way I am. I keep saying that I need to lose weight and get back to where I was, but he just says that he loves me just the way I am and he likes me with a little bit of cushion. I'm his Chunky Monkey! Well at least we know he can make me smile.
Holy damn, I guess I did need to do a long post. I just started typing and this is where it got me. Damn. I have a lot on my mind I guess. More blogging for me.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Maybe A Little Vent Might Do Me Good
So I think instead of picking just one topic to talk about, I am going to talk about whatever is in my head to clear it out. Might make me sleep better.
So to start off I really want to respond to this whole thing going on with the Florida man Trayvon. Now I have not really been reading about this story up until this post, but with things that have happened this week I have taken an interest in it. But this post isn't going out to Trayvon himself, this is going out to Geraldo Rivera. Let me get something straight... This young man was killed because he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt? Are you kidding me? I wear hooded sweatshirts just about everyday and I am still alive. That's some bullshit if you ask me. The suspect in this case said that the young man, who is now dead because of him, attacked him. From what was said, his face was bloody from the fight. Now when I heard this, I did my research. There were no cut marks or scabs or anything on his hands. This is making me believe that you beat yourself up or had someone else do it to blame it on this young man. People are protesting about this whole thing and you have nothing to say about it? You should be shot. That is all I have to say about you.
What's next.. Ahh yes, the lovely American Soldier who killed 17 innocent afghan women and children. I hope they through the god damn book at you. Now I know most people are going to get on my ass about posting about this, but let me tell you something, I have read just about every article pertained to this matter so I am pretty knowledgeable about what was being said. This soldier was on his 4th tour overseas. Now I have many friends who have been over there so I know the stuff they had to do before leaving to come home and the first thing they went through was a PTSD test. PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder, for those of you who don't know. Any who... every time he was leaving there he passed these test with flying colors. He also had re-enlisted twice since his first tour over there. No where does it give you the right to go and do what you did. Most people will blame it on the 4 tours over there but guess what, you re-enlisted and you knew that if you would, you would be going back overseas and you did it anyways. I do not feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the 17 victims you took from this world, who were doing nothing at the time but sleeping. You are sick.
What else... oh lets see... There isn't much more I feel like talking about right now. I think it's time for some sleep since it is 3 in the morning. Nighty night bloggers.
So to start off I really want to respond to this whole thing going on with the Florida man Trayvon. Now I have not really been reading about this story up until this post, but with things that have happened this week I have taken an interest in it. But this post isn't going out to Trayvon himself, this is going out to Geraldo Rivera. Let me get something straight... This young man was killed because he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt? Are you kidding me? I wear hooded sweatshirts just about everyday and I am still alive. That's some bullshit if you ask me. The suspect in this case said that the young man, who is now dead because of him, attacked him. From what was said, his face was bloody from the fight. Now when I heard this, I did my research. There were no cut marks or scabs or anything on his hands. This is making me believe that you beat yourself up or had someone else do it to blame it on this young man. People are protesting about this whole thing and you have nothing to say about it? You should be shot. That is all I have to say about you.
What's next.. Ahh yes, the lovely American Soldier who killed 17 innocent afghan women and children. I hope they through the god damn book at you. Now I know most people are going to get on my ass about posting about this, but let me tell you something, I have read just about every article pertained to this matter so I am pretty knowledgeable about what was being said. This soldier was on his 4th tour overseas. Now I have many friends who have been over there so I know the stuff they had to do before leaving to come home and the first thing they went through was a PTSD test. PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder, for those of you who don't know. Any who... every time he was leaving there he passed these test with flying colors. He also had re-enlisted twice since his first tour over there. No where does it give you the right to go and do what you did. Most people will blame it on the 4 tours over there but guess what, you re-enlisted and you knew that if you would, you would be going back overseas and you did it anyways. I do not feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the 17 victims you took from this world, who were doing nothing at the time but sleeping. You are sick.
What else... oh lets see... There isn't much more I feel like talking about right now. I think it's time for some sleep since it is 3 in the morning. Nighty night bloggers.
Monday, March 12, 2012
I Still Can't Believe This Happened
Suffering From PTSD
I agree, on his 4th tour overseas, people come down with PTSD and should not be there but when you keep re enlisting we can't keep you out of there.
I agree, on his 4th tour overseas, people come down with PTSD and should not be there but when you keep re enlisting we can't keep you out of there.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
I Think Court Marshalling Shall Be Inforced With This One.
U.S. Soldier Open Fired On Civilians
BALANDI, Afghanistan — Moving from house to house, a U.S. Army sergeant opened fire Sunday on Afghan villagers as they slept, killing 16 people – mostly women and children – in an attack that reignited fury at the U.S. presence following a wave of deadly protests over Americans burning Qurans.
The attack threatened the deepest breach yet in U.S.-Afghan relations, raising questions both in Washington and Kabul about why American troops are still fighting in Afghanistan after 10 years of conflict and the killing of Osama bin Laden.
The slayings, one of the worst atrocities committed by U.S. forces during the Afghan war, came amid deepening public outrage spurred by last month's Quran burnings and an earlier video purportedly showing U.S. Marines urinating on dead Taliban militants.
The Quran burnings sparked weeks of violent protests and attacks that left some 30 Afghans dead, despite an apology from President Barack Obama. Six U.S. service members were also killed by their fellow Afghan soldiers, although the tensions had just started to calm down.
According to U.S. and Afghan officials, Sunday's attack began around 3 a.m. in two villages in Panjwai district, a rural region outside Kandahar that is the cradle of the Taliban and where coalition forces have fought for control for years. The villages are about 500 yards (meters) from a U.S. base in a region that was the focus of Obama's military surge strategy in the south starting in 2009.
Villagers described cowering in fear as gunshots rang out as a soldier roamed from house to house firing on those inside. They said he entered three homes in all and set fire to some of the bodies. Eleven of the dead were from a single family, and nine of the victims were children.
U.S. officials said the shooter, identified as an Army staff sergeant, acted alone, leaving his base in southern Afghanistan and opening fire on sleeping families in two villages. Initial reports indicated he returned to the base after the shooting and turned himself in. He was in custody at a NATO base in Afghanistan.
The suspect, from Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash., was assigned to support a special operations unit of either Green Berets or Navy SEALs engaged in a village stability operation, said a U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity because the investigation is still ongoing.
Such operations are among NATO's best hopes for transitioning out of Afghanistan, pairing special operations troops with villagers chosen by village elders to become essentially a sanctioned, armed neighborhood watch.
Some residents said they believed there were multiple attackers, given the carnage.
"One man can't kill so many people. There must have been many people involved," Bacha Agha of Balandi village told The Associated Press. "If the government says this is just one person's act we will not accept it. ... After killing those people they also burned the bodies."
In a statement, Afghan President Hamid Karzai left open the possibility of more than one shooter. He initially spoke of a single U.S. gunman, then referred to "American forces" entering houses. The statement quoted a 15-year-old survivor named Rafiullah, who was shot in the leg, as telling Karzai in a phone call that "soldiers" broke into his house, woke up his family and began shooting them.
"This is an assassination, an intentional killing of innocent civilians and cannot be forgiven," Karzai said.
Obama phoned the Afghan leader to express his shock and sadness, and offered condolences to the grieving families and to the people of Afghanistan.
In a statement released by the White House, Obama called the attack "tragic and shocking" and not representative of "the exceptional character of our military and the respect that the United States has for the people of Afghanistan." He vowed "to get the facts as quickly as possible and to hold accountable anyone responsible."
The violence over the Quran burnings had already spurred calls in the U.S. for a faster exit strategy from the 10-year-old Afghan war. Obama even said recently that "now is the time for us to transition." But he also said he had no plan to change the current timetable that has Afghans taking control of security countrywide by the end of 2014.
In the wake of the Quran burnings, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, Gen. John Allen, visited troops at a base that was attacked last month and urged them not to give in to the impulse for revenge.
The tensions between the two countries had appeared to be easing as recently as Friday, when the two governments signed a memorandum of understanding about the transfer of Afghan detainees to Afghan control – a key step toward an eventual strategic partnership to govern U.S. forces in the country.
Now, another wave of anti-American hatred could threaten the entire future of the mission, fueling not only anger among the Afghans whom the coalition is supposed to be defending but also encouraging doubts among U.S. political figures that the long and costly war is worth the sacrifice in lives and treasury.
"This is a fatal hammer blow on the U.S. military mission in Afghanistan. Whatever sliver of trust and credibility we might have had following the burnings of the Quran is now gone," said David Cortright, the director of policy studies at Notre Dame's Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies and an advocate for a quick withdrawal from Afghanistan.
Gen. Allen offered his regret and "deepest condolences" to the Afghan people for the shootings and vowed to make sure that "anyone who is found to have committed wrongdoing is held fully accountable."
"This deeply appalling incident in no way represents the values of ISAF and coalition troops or the abiding respect we feel for the Afghan people," Allen said in a statement, using the abbreviation for NATO's International Security Assistance Force.
In Panjwai district on Sunday, grieving residents tried to make sense of why they were targeted.
"No Taliban were here. No gunbattle was going on," cried out one woman, who said four people were killed in the village of Alokzai, all members of her family. "We don't know why this foreign soldier came and killed our innocent family members. Either he was drunk or he enjoyed killing civilians."
The other 12 dead were from Balandi village, said Samad Khan, a farmer who lost all 11 members of his family, including women and children. Khan was away from the village when the attack occurred and returned to find his family members shot and burned. One of his neighbors was also killed, he said.
"This is an anti-human and anti-Islamic act," Khan said. "Nobody is allowed in any religion in the world to kill children and women."
One woman opened a blue blanket with pink flowers to reveal the body of her 2-year-old child, who was wearing a blood-soaked shirt.
"Was this child Taliban? There is no Taliban here" said Gul Bushra. The Americans "are always threatening us with dogs and helicopters during night raids."
Dozens of villagers crowded the streets as minibuses and trucks carried away the dead to be washed for burial. One man used the edge of his brown shawl to wipe away tears.
Officials wearing white plastic gloves picked up bullet casings from the floor of a house and put them in a plastic bag.
An AP photographer saw 15 bodies in the two villages, some of them burned and other covered with blankets. A young boy partially wrapped in a blanket was in the back of a minibus, dried blood crusted on his face and pooled in his ear. His loose-fitting brown pants were partly burned, revealing a leg charred by fire.
It was unclear how or why the bodies were burned, though villagers showed journalists the blood-stained corner of a house where blankets and possibly bodies were set on fire.
International forces have fought for control of Panjwai for years, trying to subdue the Taliban in their rural strongholds. The Taliban movement started just to the north of Panjwai and many of the militant group's senior leaders, including chief Mullah Mohammed Omar, were born, raised, fought or preached in the area.
The district has also been a key Taliban base for targeting neighboring Kandahar city and U.S. forces flooded the province as part of Obama's strategy to surge in the south starting in 2009.
The Taliban called the shootings the latest sign that international forces are working against the Afghan people.
"The so-called American peacekeepers have once again quenched their thirst with the blood of innocent Afghan civilians in Kandahar province," the Taliban said in a statement posted on a website used by the insurgent group.
U.S. forces have been implicated before in other violence in the same area.
Four soldiers from a Stryker brigade out of Lewis-McChord, Washington, have been sent to prison in connection with the 2010 killing of three unarmed men during patrols in Kandahar province's Maiwand district, which is just northwest of Panjwai. They were accused of forming a "kill team" that murdered Afghan civilians for sport – slaughtering victims with grenades and powerful machine guns during patrols, then dropping weapons near their bodies to make them appear to have been combatants.
Obama has apologized for the Quran burnings and said they were a mistake. The Qurans and other Islamic books were taken from a detention facility and dumped in a burn pit last month because they were believed to contain extremist messages or inscriptions. A military official said at the time that it appeared detainees were exchanging messages by making notations in the texts.
BALANDI, Afghanistan — Moving from house to house, a U.S. Army sergeant opened fire Sunday on Afghan villagers as they slept, killing 16 people – mostly women and children – in an attack that reignited fury at the U.S. presence following a wave of deadly protests over Americans burning Qurans.
The attack threatened the deepest breach yet in U.S.-Afghan relations, raising questions both in Washington and Kabul about why American troops are still fighting in Afghanistan after 10 years of conflict and the killing of Osama bin Laden.
The slayings, one of the worst atrocities committed by U.S. forces during the Afghan war, came amid deepening public outrage spurred by last month's Quran burnings and an earlier video purportedly showing U.S. Marines urinating on dead Taliban militants.
The Quran burnings sparked weeks of violent protests and attacks that left some 30 Afghans dead, despite an apology from President Barack Obama. Six U.S. service members were also killed by their fellow Afghan soldiers, although the tensions had just started to calm down.
According to U.S. and Afghan officials, Sunday's attack began around 3 a.m. in two villages in Panjwai district, a rural region outside Kandahar that is the cradle of the Taliban and where coalition forces have fought for control for years. The villages are about 500 yards (meters) from a U.S. base in a region that was the focus of Obama's military surge strategy in the south starting in 2009.
Villagers described cowering in fear as gunshots rang out as a soldier roamed from house to house firing on those inside. They said he entered three homes in all and set fire to some of the bodies. Eleven of the dead were from a single family, and nine of the victims were children.
U.S. officials said the shooter, identified as an Army staff sergeant, acted alone, leaving his base in southern Afghanistan and opening fire on sleeping families in two villages. Initial reports indicated he returned to the base after the shooting and turned himself in. He was in custody at a NATO base in Afghanistan.
The suspect, from Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash., was assigned to support a special operations unit of either Green Berets or Navy SEALs engaged in a village stability operation, said a U.S. official, speaking on condition of anonymity because the investigation is still ongoing.
Such operations are among NATO's best hopes for transitioning out of Afghanistan, pairing special operations troops with villagers chosen by village elders to become essentially a sanctioned, armed neighborhood watch.
Some residents said they believed there were multiple attackers, given the carnage.
"One man can't kill so many people. There must have been many people involved," Bacha Agha of Balandi village told The Associated Press. "If the government says this is just one person's act we will not accept it. ... After killing those people they also burned the bodies."
In a statement, Afghan President Hamid Karzai left open the possibility of more than one shooter. He initially spoke of a single U.S. gunman, then referred to "American forces" entering houses. The statement quoted a 15-year-old survivor named Rafiullah, who was shot in the leg, as telling Karzai in a phone call that "soldiers" broke into his house, woke up his family and began shooting them.
"This is an assassination, an intentional killing of innocent civilians and cannot be forgiven," Karzai said.
Obama phoned the Afghan leader to express his shock and sadness, and offered condolences to the grieving families and to the people of Afghanistan.
In a statement released by the White House, Obama called the attack "tragic and shocking" and not representative of "the exceptional character of our military and the respect that the United States has for the people of Afghanistan." He vowed "to get the facts as quickly as possible and to hold accountable anyone responsible."
The violence over the Quran burnings had already spurred calls in the U.S. for a faster exit strategy from the 10-year-old Afghan war. Obama even said recently that "now is the time for us to transition." But he also said he had no plan to change the current timetable that has Afghans taking control of security countrywide by the end of 2014.
In the wake of the Quran burnings, the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, Gen. John Allen, visited troops at a base that was attacked last month and urged them not to give in to the impulse for revenge.
The tensions between the two countries had appeared to be easing as recently as Friday, when the two governments signed a memorandum of understanding about the transfer of Afghan detainees to Afghan control – a key step toward an eventual strategic partnership to govern U.S. forces in the country.
Now, another wave of anti-American hatred could threaten the entire future of the mission, fueling not only anger among the Afghans whom the coalition is supposed to be defending but also encouraging doubts among U.S. political figures that the long and costly war is worth the sacrifice in lives and treasury.
"This is a fatal hammer blow on the U.S. military mission in Afghanistan. Whatever sliver of trust and credibility we might have had following the burnings of the Quran is now gone," said David Cortright, the director of policy studies at Notre Dame's Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies and an advocate for a quick withdrawal from Afghanistan.
Gen. Allen offered his regret and "deepest condolences" to the Afghan people for the shootings and vowed to make sure that "anyone who is found to have committed wrongdoing is held fully accountable."
"This deeply appalling incident in no way represents the values of ISAF and coalition troops or the abiding respect we feel for the Afghan people," Allen said in a statement, using the abbreviation for NATO's International Security Assistance Force.
In Panjwai district on Sunday, grieving residents tried to make sense of why they were targeted.
"No Taliban were here. No gunbattle was going on," cried out one woman, who said four people were killed in the village of Alokzai, all members of her family. "We don't know why this foreign soldier came and killed our innocent family members. Either he was drunk or he enjoyed killing civilians."
The other 12 dead were from Balandi village, said Samad Khan, a farmer who lost all 11 members of his family, including women and children. Khan was away from the village when the attack occurred and returned to find his family members shot and burned. One of his neighbors was also killed, he said.
"This is an anti-human and anti-Islamic act," Khan said. "Nobody is allowed in any religion in the world to kill children and women."
One woman opened a blue blanket with pink flowers to reveal the body of her 2-year-old child, who was wearing a blood-soaked shirt.
"Was this child Taliban? There is no Taliban here" said Gul Bushra. The Americans "are always threatening us with dogs and helicopters during night raids."
Dozens of villagers crowded the streets as minibuses and trucks carried away the dead to be washed for burial. One man used the edge of his brown shawl to wipe away tears.
Officials wearing white plastic gloves picked up bullet casings from the floor of a house and put them in a plastic bag.
An AP photographer saw 15 bodies in the two villages, some of them burned and other covered with blankets. A young boy partially wrapped in a blanket was in the back of a minibus, dried blood crusted on his face and pooled in his ear. His loose-fitting brown pants were partly burned, revealing a leg charred by fire.
It was unclear how or why the bodies were burned, though villagers showed journalists the blood-stained corner of a house where blankets and possibly bodies were set on fire.
International forces have fought for control of Panjwai for years, trying to subdue the Taliban in their rural strongholds. The Taliban movement started just to the north of Panjwai and many of the militant group's senior leaders, including chief Mullah Mohammed Omar, were born, raised, fought or preached in the area.
The district has also been a key Taliban base for targeting neighboring Kandahar city and U.S. forces flooded the province as part of Obama's strategy to surge in the south starting in 2009.
The Taliban called the shootings the latest sign that international forces are working against the Afghan people.
"The so-called American peacekeepers have once again quenched their thirst with the blood of innocent Afghan civilians in Kandahar province," the Taliban said in a statement posted on a website used by the insurgent group.
U.S. forces have been implicated before in other violence in the same area.
Four soldiers from a Stryker brigade out of Lewis-McChord, Washington, have been sent to prison in connection with the 2010 killing of three unarmed men during patrols in Kandahar province's Maiwand district, which is just northwest of Panjwai. They were accused of forming a "kill team" that murdered Afghan civilians for sport – slaughtering victims with grenades and powerful machine guns during patrols, then dropping weapons near their bodies to make them appear to have been combatants.
Obama has apologized for the Quran burnings and said they were a mistake. The Qurans and other Islamic books were taken from a detention facility and dumped in a burn pit last month because they were believed to contain extremist messages or inscriptions. A military official said at the time that it appeared detainees were exchanging messages by making notations in the texts.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
What's Been Going On?
Not a whole lot I guess. Still looking for a job. I really hope something comes around soon. I want to start doing something with my life again. I still need to figure out what I want to major in as well. Ahh. My life is going no where.
It's beginning to feel a lot like summer and that makes me happy. Good things seem to come to me during the summer. As for my birthday this summer, I am not going to do crap. Sit at home and watch some movies and eat tons of junk food. Sounds pretty good to me. I do want to get back on a good and steady workout plan again. I was going so well and then I just wasn't motivated enough. I hate being this size. It's not pretty and it's not me. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Things have begun to go downhill with my family again. What's new right? Oh well. If they can't accept what I am doing or what I wanted to do then kick rocks.
It's beginning to feel a lot like summer and that makes me happy. Good things seem to come to me during the summer. As for my birthday this summer, I am not going to do crap. Sit at home and watch some movies and eat tons of junk food. Sounds pretty good to me. I do want to get back on a good and steady workout plan again. I was going so well and then I just wasn't motivated enough. I hate being this size. It's not pretty and it's not me. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Things have begun to go downhill with my family again. What's new right? Oh well. If they can't accept what I am doing or what I wanted to do then kick rocks.
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