As He Sleeps

I am sitting here as he sleeps, because I cannot get comfortable, which really sucks by the way, and after a conversation we had before bed really got me thinking. Nights like these are going to be happening much longer. Once he gets medical clearance, he will get his boot camp ship out date. He will be gone for how ever long, then be back for a short while and then gone again. I am not going to get the kisses before bed or the cuddling in the middle of the night, or the rolling over in the morning to him looking at me, kiss me and say "good morning beautiful". What am I supposed to do when he is gone. When I sleep at home and he is not there, I already roll over in the middle of the night and look for him. I dont get sad because I know I will get to see him soon. How am I going to feel when I roll over and he isnt there and I know he wont be there? This is going to be a lot harder to handle than I thought. I have gotten such strong feelings for him in such a short time, and I would never tell him not to go because he wanted this before I came along, I just know this is going to be a much harder transition than I though. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to roll over, grab him and cry but that would bring up a bunch of questions if I woke him up. I guess I better get used to crying myself asleep for a while. It will get easier as time goes by, but the initial time period in the beginning is going to be hard. Im gonna miss his kisses. His smell. His smile. His laugh. His curly hair. The way he makes me fell. The way he makes me laugh. His quirky little antics he does. Im in for a lot of sleepless nights.

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