Times Flies

In 5 days Chris and I will have been together officially for a month. Man it seems like it has been so much longer. Time flies when you are having fun I guess. Things have been great, but then again it's only the 1st month together. Things can change at any time. I hope they don't. He is amazing. He makes me laugh like no one ever could. I can never stay angry at him for more than like 30 seconds. All he has to do it look at me with those eyes and nuzzle into my neck and I melt. Every song that comes on the radio, I think of him. Gees, I'm attached. :)

As He Sleeps

I am sitting here as he sleeps, because I cannot get comfortable, which really sucks by the way, and after a conversation we had before bed really got me thinking. Nights like these are going to be happening much longer. Once he gets medical clearance, he will get his boot camp ship out date. He will be gone for how ever long, then be back for a short while and then gone again. I am not going to get the kisses before bed or the cuddling in the middle of the night, or the rolling over in the morning to him looking at me, kiss me and say "good morning beautiful". What am I supposed to do when he is gone. When I sleep at home and he is not there, I already roll over in the middle of the night and look for him. I dont get sad because I know I will get to see him soon. How am I going to feel when I roll over and he isnt there and I know he wont be there? This is going to be a lot harder to handle than I thought. I have gotten such strong feelings for him in such a short time, and I would never tell him not to go because he wanted this before I came along, I just know this is going to be a much harder transition than I though. Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to roll over, grab him and cry but that would bring up a bunch of questions if I woke him up. I guess I better get used to crying myself asleep for a while. It will get easier as time goes by, but the initial time period in the beginning is going to be hard. Im gonna miss his kisses. His smell. His smile. His laugh. His curly hair. The way he makes me fell. The way he makes me laugh. His quirky little antics he does. Im in for a lot of sleepless nights.

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The Year Is Almost Over

I cannot believe that September is almost here. It seems like just yesterday was New Years. So many things have changed this year. Started out the new year with a clean start. Had a new guy that I thought was a good one, but 6 months later, turned out to be just like the rest of them. Many friends have come and many friends have gone. Friendships that have been around for 17 years are gone, which actually doesnt make me sad. I found out that most of the classes Ive taken at Los Medanos will not transfer to a 4 year College, so I am stuck at a Junior College for god knows how much longer. Have a few personal health issues occur and some didnt turn out like I wanted them too and one completely devestating. But everything happens for a reason right? I would love to know the reasoning behind that one. Something I wanted for so long, taken right out from under my feet in the blink of an eye. 7 months later, my life took a good turn. Connected with a really great guy, who seems to be treating me good. Its nice to have that feeling that things are good and that someone truely cares. I havent felt like this in a long, long time. I dont think he will ever know how much I honestly and truely care about him. So here is to the last 4 months of 2011... I am ready to make this year one I will remember.

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This Shit Is Hilarious

So you don't want to be my friend less than 48 hours ago and now you won't stop messaging me. I will let people make up their own mind on this one. I am going to post what she has written then the messages she has been sending me. This shit makes me laugh.

Posted August 19: Im so happy to be home and away from all the childish drama.

Posted August 19: Yeah soo fucking mature.. delete me as a friend yet keep me as ur sister... whos the smart one... not you..... Wont even pick ur shit up when im home cuz u dont wanna face the facts. Whatever... Be a conceded drama qween... and idgaf how i spell!

Posted August 20: Im dont with ur petty drama. You want everyone to feel sad for you. I do feel sad for you. Sad that you cant realize that when ur fucking hurt again im not gonna be there and you will have no one there for you.

Posted August 24: Im glad to be the bigger person even tho im younger.

Posted August 24: Glad that conceded bitch is outta my life for good!!

Posted August 24: My "stupid fucking paper" is more important than u ever were. If u wanted ir shit soulda just camee and got it like the big girl u think u are. Im glad ur outta my life and outta my town. Have a good life. Leave me out of it! Goodbye for good.

Posted August 26: Lets dont say goodbye. I hate the way it sounds. So if u dont mind lets just say for now see you when I see you ♥ ??????


I have no idea what the fuck that post was supposed to mean but it seems like she made it clear that she was done with me, for good. Now here are the messages she has been sending me.




Message sent yesterday


ABBY:  Look jess I never said anything about the track and I naver had anyone msg u. This is between u and me. I believe that everything between us is done so there no reason for ur friends to be bad mouthing me saying they gonna beat my ass. This is too much drama for the both of us. We just need to drop this it had gotten to out of control and I dont want my life threaten over it.

JESS: You are right. It is between you and I. As for our friends doing what they do, is them not me. So fucking ignore them. We are done. Im done with you. You are done with me. Bye.


ABBY: Fine. Ur choice

JESS: Quit trying to make me look like that bad person for not being friends with you. You wanted nothing to do with me 24 hours ago and after thinking about it, I want nothing to do with you. Just leave it at that and move on.

ABBY: Im not trying to make u the badd person. Im just sayin putt it behind us and act lke mature ppl that we both are. Goodbye

ABBY: Sorry for bothering u but I need to know who msged you thats from my "posse". One name is all I need thanks.

JESS: It came in as facebook user but someone signed it anthony i think or something with an A. I didnt respond to it. But i think its funny whoever is on my page is telling you everything i post. Please tell me who so i can delete thme too thanks

ABBY: Thank you. And almost everyone. Not kelly tho or ashley. But I hear different things from different ppl.

JESS: I dont see how when i deleted 99 percent of people that would tell you and my stuff is blocked. Unless my login in saved in your computer and then thats fucked up on your part. But we are done here. Move the fuck on.

ABBY: I dont go on ur page. But fine were done. 17 yrs of friendship down the drain. Goodbye

JESS: Hey you said it was just giving you what you wanted. BYE!!!!!! If I can quote because I had to save it, it was just that hilarious...



My "stupid fucking paper" is more important than u ever were. If u wanted ir shit soulda just camee and got it like the big girl u think u are. Im glad ur outta my life and outta my town. Have a good life. Leave me out of it! Goodbye for good.



SO YEAH 17 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP IS DONE!!! Go makes friends with someone else who wants to listen cause I am done listening.


ABBY: Thats funny how u can see eveything I put but I cant see what u put... U never changed.

JESS: It was sent to me because people knew it was about me. I just got smart and made all my stuff private. But you think I havent changed thats fine. What you think doesn't matter anymore. So stop messaging me and go on about your life. I have! Good bye Abigail!



Sounds like someone was trying to get a friendship back. I dont think so. I am done with your 17 year old high school drama. Yes people are going to say that blogging about it is so high school, but its not. I blog about everything so get over it.

Beautiful Lies Lyrics by Jaron and the Long Road To Love

Though I'm fully aware of your desperate despair
I'm charmed by the words that you say
Even though I know you, but never dared tell the truth
I'm seduced by your meaningless plays

And I could sit here and listen for days

As you lie to me, oh, lie to me
Tell me that you love me one more time
Just lie to me, oh, lie to me
I love your beautiful lies
Your beautiful lies

Just watching you speak so obliviously
I know it's wrong, but I'm laughing inside
'Cause I just pretend to believe you, my friend
Let you compliment me with your lies
It's just so fun to watch you try

So just lie to me, oh, lie to me
Tell me that you love me one more time
Lie to me, oh, lie to me
Though I love your beautiful lies
Your beautiful lies

And someday, when you realize
You're still all alone and so screwed up inside
I hope that I'm there
When you finally find the only person who cares

God bless you

Lie to me, lie to me
Tell me that you love me one more time
Just lie to me, oh, lie to me
I still love your beautiful lies
Your beautiful lies

The beautiful lies

Though I'm fully aware of your desperate despair
I'm still charmed by the words that you say

Birthday Recon Weekend (In Photos)

Fluffy Was Sad Because My Original Birthday Plans Sucked.

I Love His Tattoo.

He Wrote This On My Hand And Completely Made My Day.

My Penguin On My Blanket With A Heart Iron On.

The Guy At Raleys Did Not Know How To Spell Stripper.

Cake Fight.

I Love My Boys.

They Can Make Me Laugh No Matter What Mood I Am In.

They Are Adorable.

Alex & I.

This Is A Cute Picture Even Though You Cant See His Face.

<3 LOVE <3

Christina Came Home And Got Caked Too.

My Surprise Birthday Cake. It's Perfect.

Honored

Today I was honored by a dear friend of mine in the form of a question. She is getting married October 23rd and asked me to be her Maid of Honor!! Me of all people. I feel so special. I refuse to let her down. We are gonna have one hell of a time and one hell of a bachlorette party. Thank you to this friend, who I shall let remain nameless due to petty people who will go fucking ape shit. For what reason I have no idea. But I love you girl. We have been through so much and I am honored to get to stand next to you as your right hand (wo)man!

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