Remembering Diana, Princess of Wales 20 Years Later

I remember the morning clearly. 10 years old waking up wanting French Toast (that was my breakfast every Sunday morning) only to turn on the TV and find my idol dead. I may have only been 10 years old but this was the first time I ever remember crying over someone I never met before. I always looked up to Diana because she was such a down to earth and carefree person. She never cared what people thought about her. She cared more about everyone else than what she was going to wear that day. When I saw her picture scroll across my screen I was devastated. I remember my grandmother looking at me wondering what the hell was wrong until she looked at the TV and finally understood.

20 years later we still don't know what really killed her? Driver error? Paparazzi? A plot from the queen to have her killed? Or Charles' mistress? Either way its been 20 years without the people's princess. A life taken at a young age of 36. 20 years that two young boys had to grow up without a mother.


"I don't go by the rule book. I lead from the heart, not the head". - Princess Diana

6 Year Anniversary

Yesterday Chris and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary. I cannot believe that we have been together for 6 years.

They have not been the easiest I can tell you that much. We have had our ups and downs and wanted to give up multiple times but we never did. We've always worked through our shit.

We may want to kill each other 5 days out of the week but the other 2 are great. Better than having no great days at all.

So here's to many more years.

30 Things To Do In My 30th Year!

I really toyed with posting this because I have had mixed feelings from people I have told I wanted to do this. Some thinks its a great idea and some think it's a stupid idea. So after I toyed with it for a while I decided FUCK EVERYONE ELSE! I am doing this for me. My 30th year is about me and no one else. So I am posting it. If you don't like it get the fuck out. I don't have time for you. I don't want your opinions on what I am doing with my life. TYSM!

1. Read a classic novel I've never read
2. Print my favorite photos and from them
3. Try and new hair style
4. Create my own cookbook
5. Accept who I am.
6. Create a 365 Day collage video
7. Get a true facial and massage
8. Find something I'm passionate about
9. Work towards getting out of debt
10. Run a marathon
11. Complete a 52 week gratitude blog challenge
12. Get a skin cancer screening
13. Get in better shape
14. Add to my thigh piece... again
15. Learn how to use my Nikon properly
16. Take control of my anxiety
17. Visit a baseball stadium that I've never been too
18. Enjoy the moments
19. Take a trip by myself
20. Go on a cruise
21. Go to an NHL game
22. Eat at a true ramen bar
23. Purchase something from Tiffany & Co.
24. Get into a great honors program
25. Take care of my body... internally
26. Start standing up for myself with friends
27. Let go of my first 30 years
28. Set goals for next 5 years, 10 years.
29. Find a new show to binge watch.
30. Scrapbook my 30th year.

Birthday Month

Well it looks like another year has come and gone again. In just a few short weeks I will say goodbye to my 20s and say hello to my 30s. I used to be terrified that I was turning 30 but now I am just ready to get this birthday over with. Ready to move on and get going with the rest of my life.

I did create a list of 30 things to do in my 30th year. I think I will be posting that closer to my birthday. Maybe I will keep it to myself. I am not sure yet.

Getting Back In Shape

I don't know how many of these I have posted over my entire blogging career but as I am approaching my 30th birthday in less than 30 days and I just happened to catch myself in the mirror last night after my shower, I am disgusted with what I saw. I refuse to step on a scale beaus I know it's just going to make me even more angry than I already am. 10 years ago I was nice and skinny. I weighted about 115lbs, fit into a size 5 jeans, and didn't care what I looked like.

Now it's consumes my life. I am the only one who can change that. I need that motivation in my life. Why can't Merced offer classes for this kind of stuff. Not just open session classes that anyone can go to. I had so much motivation when I was taking weight training classes.

I hate going to the gym. I feel like I am being judged. I guess that's the problem you get when you go to In Shape. All those assholes are judgmental pieces of shit.

Ok I should probably wrap up this short post because even typing this is making me angry.

An Abrupt MIA

Sorry for the abrupt absence on this blog. I got like 2 days into my post op recovery and I just gave up.

I AM STILL ALIVE! I promise. Obviously.


Surgery and recovery went great. I am back to my old self just with an added scar to my body. Ha. And in a lovely but uncomfortable place.

School actually went really well for all the troubles and hills I went through this semester. I cam out with all B's. I'll take it. I also got an invitation to the national honors society. I was not expecting that at all. Makes me feel good though. But I am so ready to be done though. 6 classes left after this fall semester. I think I can see the end in sight. But then I have to take credential courses. So it's not quite over yet. But once I finish I am seriously contemplating leaving California. I either want to go back east or Hawaii. Hawaii is looking better and better every day. Chris doesn't want to go but I'm not sure I am going to let that stop me.

Just got back from vacation. Orlando Florida. I've been there before but the boys haven't been there. It was an interesting trip to say the least. Not one I plan to make as a group again. I'll go by myself. We did get tattoos while we were there. I added to my thigh piece. The artist I had was down right amazing. If I am ever in that neck of the woods again I will get another piece by him in a heart beat. If you are ever in the Orlando area head to Hart and Hunnington Tattoo in City Walk. Ask for Adam.

Other than that not much else to update. Chris and I are sill together. About to hit 6 years. Yeah that's crazy but we aren't going there.

Post Operation Day 2

Well today is a lot better than yesterday. Still in pain but I had a bowel movement this morning and that was the next big hurdle I needed to get passed. No pain. No extra bleeding. Things are moving in the right direction. Thank god. I want to be healed and this to be over with