Birthday Month

Well it looks like another year has come and gone again. In just a few short weeks I will say goodbye to my 20s and say hello to my 30s. I used to be terrified that I was turning 30 but now I am just ready to get this birthday over with. Ready to move on and get going with the rest of my life.

I did create a list of 30 things to do in my 30th year. I think I will be posting that closer to my birthday. Maybe I will keep it to myself. I am not sure yet.

Getting Back In Shape

I don't know how many of these I have posted over my entire blogging career but as I am approaching my 30th birthday in less than 30 days and I just happened to catch myself in the mirror last night after my shower, I am disgusted with what I saw. I refuse to step on a scale beaus I know it's just going to make me even more angry than I already am. 10 years ago I was nice and skinny. I weighted about 115lbs, fit into a size 5 jeans, and didn't care what I looked like.

Now it's consumes my life. I am the only one who can change that. I need that motivation in my life. Why can't Merced offer classes for this kind of stuff. Not just open session classes that anyone can go to. I had so much motivation when I was taking weight training classes.

I hate going to the gym. I feel like I am being judged. I guess that's the problem you get when you go to In Shape. All those assholes are judgmental pieces of shit.

Ok I should probably wrap up this short post because even typing this is making me angry.

An Abrupt MIA

Sorry for the abrupt absence on this blog. I got like 2 days into my post op recovery and I just gave up.

I AM STILL ALIVE! I promise. Obviously.


Surgery and recovery went great. I am back to my old self just with an added scar to my body. Ha. And in a lovely but uncomfortable place.

School actually went really well for all the troubles and hills I went through this semester. I cam out with all B's. I'll take it. I also got an invitation to the national honors society. I was not expecting that at all. Makes me feel good though. But I am so ready to be done though. 6 classes left after this fall semester. I think I can see the end in sight. But then I have to take credential courses. So it's not quite over yet. But once I finish I am seriously contemplating leaving California. I either want to go back east or Hawaii. Hawaii is looking better and better every day. Chris doesn't want to go but I'm not sure I am going to let that stop me.

Just got back from vacation. Orlando Florida. I've been there before but the boys haven't been there. It was an interesting trip to say the least. Not one I plan to make as a group again. I'll go by myself. We did get tattoos while we were there. I added to my thigh piece. The artist I had was down right amazing. If I am ever in that neck of the woods again I will get another piece by him in a heart beat. If you are ever in the Orlando area head to Hart and Hunnington Tattoo in City Walk. Ask for Adam.

Other than that not much else to update. Chris and I are sill together. About to hit 6 years. Yeah that's crazy but we aren't going there.

Post Operation Day 2

Well today is a lot better than yesterday. Still in pain but I had a bowel movement this morning and that was the next big hurdle I needed to get passed. No pain. No extra bleeding. Things are moving in the right direction. Thank god. I want to be healed and this to be over with

Post Operation Day 1

So surgery was yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was but it's just the beginning.

Still under the numbing medicine they gave me during the operation. It's slowly wearing off. They gave me pain meds so I took one this morning just to be on the safe side incase the meds wear off.

The showers are horrible. Having to move open my legs and butt to clean out the wound is the most painful things about it so far. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets.

I Can't Win

I just don't get it. I studied my ass off for my Anthropology exam and I still got the same exam score as I did on the first one.

Fuck. I am seriously not happy with this class.

One Week Out

So I am just a little over a week out from Surgery. 9 days to be exact. All I can say is if I could have my surgery today I would do it in a heartbeat. I am so ready to get this thing over and dealt with. I don't think my anxiety has gotten any worse but it's definitely weighing on my mind more and more. I made myself a check list last night of things I want/need to do or get before my surgery so that I am not going crazy during the first few days of bed rest. That's going to be really hard for me. I hate sitting down and not doing anything. I am going to go crazy.

Man I forgot how hard it was to type with acrylics on.

Anyways back to what we were discussing...

I have managed to stay off of everything online about my surgery. The only thing I've read is about care instructions but I am sure when I go for my pre-op tomorrow I will get all kinds of information about it (I hope).

I do need to set a reminder to send an email to all my professors reminding them about my impending surgery and that I won't be in class the week after we get back from break.

Did I mention we actually get a week for Spring Break here at UC Merced? I was surprised. I don't remember that last time I had a week for Spring Break off. It was probably when I worked for the school district or back when I was in high school. I had so many things planned for to do during break but now I guess they will have to wait until the semester is over.