Blah

Today is just a feeling blah day. I went to the doctor this morning because I woke up with one of my famous headaches and she said that if I ever woke up with one to call and make an appointment with her. So I did. I have these stress balls in the back of my head and neck and when they hit or attached to my nerves, it causes the pain that cause my headaches. I have to reduce my stress levels significantly and a half hour before bed I have to lay in a dark room with no lights and no sounds to relax my mind. I hope that works cause I really hate these headaches.

I am so happy that I have my Fluffy around. Things have been really crazy around here and in my life and I get to talk to him before I go to bed. It's nice cause I can get some things off my chest before I sleep. I have actually been sleeping better. Which is nice. I have completely fallen for him. It's crazy. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. I can never stay angry with him for more than 5 minutes. All he has to do is smile or kiss me and nothing matters anymore.

Today Sucked

Oh my god. Today at work was crazy. We had two of our students get into a fight with each other and both got suspended. I cannot believe that  two lifeskills kids actually fought each other. I thought they were harmless kids to each other but I guess not. Damn. I want to just go to bed and forget today happen and wake up and it be Friday already.

Ugh.

"Life is never easy. Pain will always set in. Sometimes you fall to easy and sometimes you don't fall far enough. Some people accept who you are with and some people don't. Is there even a middle ground in life?"

 

Happy 6th Birthday Caylee Marie

Today would of been Caylee Marie Anthony's 6th birthday. Justice still has not been served. I believe this little angel would of became something big and wonderful. She never got to live her life. I hope one day they find out who murdered her. Today I wear pink and purple in memory of Caylee Marie!

Fucking Bullshit

Oh my god. I thought I was almost 24 years old. You want me to pay rent but then I can't do what I want? That's so fucking stupid. If I pay rent I should get to do what I want too with my room that I pay for. If I want to have a boy over to sleep in my room, I should be able too. No questions asked. I should be able to come and go as I please but fucking no. This is stupid. Why should I pay rent for no privacy. I can go somewhere else and pay rent and get to do what I want. I had more freedom when I was in high school then I do now that I am an adult. Even my grandma is turning against me. This is crap. What is the point of living here? I cant do what I want, when I want. I cant go anywhere without getting yelled at about anything. I need to get the fuck out of here. The worse part about all this, is I called Chris and vented to him about this. He has enough going on his life to deal with my shit. Some girlfriend I am. I need to learn not to vent to other people and just stick to venting on my blog. It doesn't talk back and doesn't care what I say.


Oh and to top it all off. My birthday is 10 days away. I am still planning my camping trip. That is all screwed up. People are inviting themselves to stay longer than they really can because we have more people coming up on Friday that are going to take then tent spot because we can only have 3 tents per site. I told them they can only stay until Friday and then they have to leave or get their own site. I wonder how well that will go over or even if they will respond. The thing I worry about is if they don't come or don't stay for the weekend, one of the people coming up on Friday won't come because they aren't going to be there. Why does this always happen to me and my plans for my birthday? I am just going to stop caring about my birthday all together. What's the point? It doesn't seem like anyone else cares about it. Why should I?

Oh. My. God.

This weekend was Perfect. It was so fucking amazing. He finally asked me out. It was so cute the way he did it. We went to get pizza for dinner. Then he asked if he could blindfold me. I gave him this stupid look and told him no. So instead I just laid down across the seat, knowing that I would fall asleep. When he woke me up we were in the middle of no where and he had set up a picnic in the back on his truck with blankets and pillows and music. It was pitch black out and all you could see were thousands of stars and the moon. It was so damn cute. After we ate pizza we just laid there listening to music. Brad Paisley's "She's Everything" came on and after that song was when he asked me. :) Just talking about it is making me smile and wish I could relive everything again. He is so amazing.

I Love You This Big :: Scotty McCreery

I know I'm still young
But, I know how I feel
I might not have too much experience
But, I know when love is real.

By the way my heart starts pounding
When I look into your eyes
I might look a little silly
Standing with my arms stretched open wide.

I love you this big
Eyes have never seen... this big
No-one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big

I'll love you to the moon and back
I'll love you all the time
Deeper than the ocean
And higher than the pines.

Cause girl, you do something to me
Deep down in my heart
I know I look a little crazy
Standing with my arms stretched all apart.

I love you this big
Eyes have never seen... this big
No-one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big

So much bigger than I ever dreamed my heart ever would
I love you this big
And I'd write your name in stars across the sky
If I could, I would

I love you this big
Oh, eyes have never seen... this big
No-one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big

I love you this big
Oh, eyes have never seen... this big
No-one's ever dreamed... this big
And I'll spend the rest of my life
Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try
I love you this big