Disreguard My Last Post

I'm actually at the moment Irritated with Jason. I hate when people make plans with you and then at the last minute change their minds and do something else. I did that for 4 years and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't know why I am letting it bug me but it just keeps getting under my skin. God damn me and letting my past hold to my present and future. I really don't even know what to say right now but I am pissed off and heated. Oh and he knows it too.

"This Could Be Love"

Last night was very interesting. I got a lot off my chest with Jason. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. About how I felt about certain things and as did he. I really feel like this is a relationship that is actually working. It's nice to have someone that will compromise and not be one sided on certain things. This is like a real adult relationship. It's nice. I really am glad that things worked out the way they did for him and I. I know now that I would be missing a whole lot if I didn't take a chance with my feelings. I am glad I am happy again.

Trying Not To

Im trying not to treat mine and Jason's relationship like my past relationships but it's kind of hard to change what I am used too. I know if I don't change things I will push him away. I just want him to be honest to me about everything and not say he is doing one thing when he is really doing something. If that is what it's gonna be like then yeah thats how I am going to act cause that is just like my past relationships. I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night to find him next to you and him not being there for an hour and then crawl back into bed like nothing happened. I'm not gonna do that again. I need to learn to trust guys again but that is going to be hard. I have to take it one day at a time. I hope one day I can trust him conpletely because I really want too.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

One Month Has Gone By

It has been one month since Jason and I have started doing that was are doing and let me tell you it has been the best month I've had in a long time. I can be myself around him and not worry about how he is gonna judge me. Its awesome. I would not change this last month for anything. I love the feeling of knowing that someone will always be there to protect you. I never got that in past relationships. 

My Mind

At the moment my mind is else where. Its driving me insane. Things and thoughts are going through my head that really shouldn't. I have been reassured that everything will be ok but they just keep coming back. I think its about time to squash the source of these thoughts and the thoughts. Im over this shit. I am not doing this shit again. Im not letting my past come back to haunt me.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Some Best Friend

Its really sad when someone you thought was your best friend, and you two had been through thick and thin, would stand by you in the decisions you make about your life. I posted something yesterday on a social networking site that shall go un-named, abiut being irritated and pissed off at someone. Now that someone I was pissed off at was my father. She texted me and gave me shit that I need to quit talking shit about my ex on the internet and blah blah blah. Now I was already having a bad night so I kind of lost it. I told her that one, it was not about him. Two, you are supposed to be MY best friend and three, its ok for him to talk shit on his page, calling me a whore and a bitch and a skank but I am not aloud to speak of him on mine? BULLSHIT!! I was so pissed. I could not believe what I was hearing. She, my best friend, or who I thought was my best friend, has turned against me and has chosen sides in this break up. I have never asked her or anyone else to choose sides. That's just wrong. She did this on her own. I guess you learn who your real friends are in times of tragedy and weakness.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

I Swear by John Michael Montgomery

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighin' on your mind
But you can be sure I know my part
'Cause I'll stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I'll make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like a shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I'll give you everything I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when there's silver in your hair
Won't have to ask if I still care
'Cause as time turns the page
My love won't age at all

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like a shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear like a shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse, till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
I swear